From Wretchedness comes joy

As i write this post, i feel a great sense of joy. I have truly no idea why i feel this joy especially after i came to terms with my own sinfulness and wretchedness. I really can't explain this joy that has welled up within my very heart and soul.

I've been feeling really horrible over an incident that has happened over the past week. I've realised that my mouth and my words have once again gotten me into trouble. Basically i see that I've created my own problems, without the devil working, i'm really my greatest enemy. And in essence, its not that far from what the Bible says. The flesh is always the enemy of the born again Christian. And i've really seen how i bring myself into trouble with my words. Oh for Christ to work in me to control my tongue. Really there's nothing else i can do now but to let Christ take over. I've really grown so tired and so weary of trying to control my speech. Lord Jesus, take over!

But through this very incident, i thank God that He has opened my eyes and allowed me to see my wretched state. Praise God for breaking me, for teaching me through this incident. I've been hating myself and my actions for the past 2 days. Truly now i want God to break me more and to crush my very will, for only then would i be of use to Him. Lord, please do the work in me. Though it would be painful for myself, but it is so necessary.